The Readers Who Make Me Want to Scream

[image description: a green book and a cup of tea on a white tray sitting on a bed.]

Usually when I put on my ranty panties it’s because of something a publisher or an author has done. Rarely is it because of readers, but it is this time.

I hate it when readers read a book then smugly declare, “It’s not that great. I could’ve written that.”

I usually hear it in reference to poetry. For some reason, folks really love to shit on modern poets, especially if they got their start on Tumblr or Instagram, which there’s nothing wrong with.

Let’s unpack the “I could’ve written that” declaration a little more because there’s actually a lot going on.

First off, it’s just a bad attitude to have. It wreaks of jealousy, which is never cute or productive. Full stop.

Secondly, I most often hear the “I could’ve written that” complaint about works that are accessible and easily understood. This is another reason why I think the complaint is most often lodged at poetry. So many folks have been ingrained to think that poetry is some big puzzle you have to solve in order to appreciate, so when a poem’s meaning is abundantly clear, it throws some people.

It’s awesome when poetry isn’t confusing––it shouldn’t be!––so that shouldn’t be a slap against it. And the less confusing poetry is, the more people get to appreciate and enjoy it. I don’t think a piece of writing being widely appealing is a bad thing.

Thirdly, and most strangely to me, is that I often hear “I could’ve written that” issued in the same breath as a bunch of other complaints about the perceived low quality of the book. “I could’ve written that” is almost always said as a scoff. This is odd to me because if they think the book is that bad and they’re saying they could’ve written it, they’re basically admitting they’re not a good writer. The folks who say “I could’ve written that” always seem to say it in a tone that implies the declaration should make them look good, but that just doesn’t make sense.

Plus, as a writer myself, I can say with absolute certainty that no writer is going to write something thinking it’s mediocre. A writer has to believe the work they’re producing is good or they’re not going to finish it. But the person saying “I could’ve written that” is saying it assuming they would know that the writing they would be producing was not only mediocre, but intentionally so. That’s just not a realistic scenario.

Lastly, whenever I hear someone say “I could’ve written that” I want to scream “BUT YOU DIDN’T WRITE IT.” Potential and possibility and ideas don’t make art––sitting your ass at your desk every day and creating in the medium you love does. “Could have” is a far cry from actually “doing.” Actually, a better response to “I could’ve written that” is “Well, why didn’t you?!”

I don’t think the impulse to think “I could’ve written that” is even necessarily a bad one––it just means you should go write your own thing instead of hating on an author who’s actually out there doing the work. But I do think people, especially aspiring writers, need to find better ways to deal with jealousy. Instead of belittling another author’s work by saying “I could’ve written that,” a better use of time would be actually writing.