The Elusiveness of Finding Time to Write

[image description: a desk with a notebook and pen, trailing plant in a pot, and a mug that says “go get ‘em.”]

When I got laid off two months ago, I woke up the day after with a pull toward a story idea that had been in the back of my mind for years. All I did for the following 3 weeks was write. Morning til night, I wrote and researched and wrote some more. For the first time, I plotted a novel instead of flying by the seat of my pants.

Things were going well and I was writing so quickly! I thought to myself, “Now that I’m working for myself, I’ll have all the time in the world to write.”

That’s a nice thought but after 3 weeks of only writing and none of it freelance, it occurred to me that I should probably ramp up my freelancing and vintage shop to make some money. I’m extremely thankful that my efforts have so far worked out well because your girl has bills! My piggy bank is finite and I don’t like seeing the bottom of it. The starving artist's life stresses me all the way the fuck out.

At first, I was still managing to work on the novel here and there. When I get into a groove, I can easily crank out a thousand words in an hour and I was finding it easier to get into a groove because I’d plotted out the novel. (I finally see the appeal of plotting! It only took me a decade+!) But as time went on, I’d look at my to-do list and push working on the novel to the next day.

Then tomorrow would come and I’d tell myself, “I’ll do it tomorrow.” Tomorrow would come again and I’d tell myself, “I’ll find time tomorrow, surely.” Then I’d hit a point where I’d realize I haven’t worked on the novel in two weeks. Then three.

That was when it hit me. I’m never going to find time to write. Regardless of whether I’m working a soul-sucking job that makes me hate my life or I’m doing work I choose that brings me joy, I’m not going to just happen upon some magical block of time to write. I have to make time to write. After all, when have you ever heard of someone stumbling over buried treasure? You have to dig.

Well, reader, I’m ready to get my hands dirty. I’m tired of only writing and publishing short pieces. I’ve written novels before (still on my hard drive but never to see the light of day) so I know I have the stamina. I’ve gotten the shitty novel out of the way. It’s time.

So far, the hardest part about being self-employed is balancing the money-making activities (freelance writing and editing + the vintage shop) with the creative projects that won’t pay off for a long time, if they pay off at all (the novel and the memoir). I’m still learning to manage my time and not naively assume I have all the time in the world. Interestingly, I’m finding time management more difficult these days now that I’m almost exclusively doing things I want to do and that brings me joy. How am I supposed to choose?!

But if I’m going to get my books out there, I have to choose the novel sometimes. I have to choose the memoir sometimes. Even if that means making less money in the short term. These stories are worth it and I don’t want to die with them only in my brain.

I bet I’m not alone in this. What writing projects do you need to make time for?